11 Jun, 2004

Test post.

This is just a test post for checking stuff. Like trackbacks. I needed a short post in here!

[update] I changed the code that was causing the problem in the sidebar. 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29 Dec, 2001

Ethnic Profiling?

I read Ann Coulter's article in the Jewish World Review with both eyebrows trying to climb past my forehead and hang waggling in midair. She advocates ethnic profiling because:

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17 Dec, 2001

False security

I got a link to an article by Chris Matthews about a tv interview with Tom Ridge (thanks to an InstaPundit reader). I saw the actual show. During the interview, Tom Ridge said, "I think every single able-bodied man or woman, from this point forward, looks at themselves as a potential air marshal." Chris Matthews neglects to mention that Tom Ridge emphasized the words "or women", probably in reaction to a certain amount of "men... men... men... men..." rhetoric coming out of Chris' mouth (don't mind me, I just don't like Matthews). I got the impression, while watching the interview, that Chris was a bit perturbed by the idea that the government could not protect everyone absolutely--or he was upset that Mr Ridge admitted that inconvenient little fact.

What I've noticed with most government officials since September 11 has me a bit worried. They don't seem to have noticed that most of us would really like to know what we can do (other than spend money). They are still trying to make us think they can "take care" of us...but it is all smoke and mirrors. Federalizing airport security will just give those bored people higher wages, but the government hopes it will make everyone "feel safe". National ID cards have been proposed, in fact, international ID cards have even been proposed. ID cards would make us even less safe, because there is nothing that cannot be copied or forged. Those ID cards would invite trust and decreased alertness; terrorists would take advantage.

The only way we will ever get total security on airplanes is to ground the planes and lock them. I know I have a few readers among "gov" and "mil" organizations, so the rest is an open letter to the US government and military (pass it on):
Tom Ridge is right, we "the people" are all Air Marshals. There will never again be a successful hijacking of any plane that has American passengers unless the hijackers kill us all. The airlines who are confiscating tweezers and nail clippers are just being silly. Have your "federalized force" worry about guns with bullets that can puncture windows and cause decompression. Search checked luggage for bombs rather than grabbing nail files.

You should quit trying to make us "feel safe", and start telling us what we can do to help make ourselves safe. We aren't stupid. We know that the only way to make each individual in the US safe is to have an army guard for each civilian. You in the government don't realize that you have a good portion of the population volunteering for the job. The increase in gun purchases and requests for concealed weapons permits should give you at least a little clue. Give us some concrete suggestions, and you'll have an army of over 100 million to defend the home front. We've been trusting you, despite our worries, and it's long past time for you to trust us!

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13 Dec, 2001

Don’t Panic!

This morning's Washington Post article, "Take This, Terrorist Boogeyman" reviews an e-mail that has been wandering the Internet for a while, titled "The Real Deal About Chemical, Nuclear and Biological Warfare" (I never got it). Red Thomas, a retired army sergeant, wrote about three pages of general common-sense advice for dealing with attacks. The Army doesn't think too much of it, but I get the impression that is because they think they should be doing the protecting and that they think his article is too general. Their comments and Thomas' rebuttal are at the bottom of the WP article. (This is a long one, please keep reading.)

The one thing he does not say, which I would add, is that you should also get medical attention as soon as you can. He may have thought that was so obvious that it wasn't necessary to mention it; I think it does bear mentioning. His also doesn't take into account the possibility that you may have dependents with you, or that you might have to deal with other people in a panic.

It gives some good basic information and advice, just keep in mind that every situation differs, and you will need to adjust accordingly if you are involved in an attack. Also, as Thomas says, Don't let fear of an isolated attack rule your life. The odds are really on your side. I have found and copied (he has given permission) this article, and you may read it below.

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02 Dec, 2001

Cultural adaption VS Multiculturalism

I've decided, after seeing the damage that the idea of "multiculturalism" has done, to stop calling myself multicultural. It really does not fit. The fact that I can 'blend in' (to some extent) in other cultures actually makes me the exact opposite of those who espouse the idea of "multiculturalism". What they want is for everyone in every culture to stick to their original culture, and make no attempt to adapt.

I like learning proper table manners... whether it is which fork to use, or how to eat politely with my fingers. If I go to another country I make an effort to learn their language and social customs, and follow them. If someone else comes to my country I expect the same of them. That is simply courtesy (and yes, I would cover up in an Arabic country).

This mulicultural "cult" results in people of other cultures being marginalised and put in little "cultural groups" that don't interact. That is not American. My neighborhood is American... my next-door neighbor lets off fireworks on the 5th of May... and on the 4th of July. We have a neighborhood watch, and that would make a nice piece for the Ad Council -- since we are all colors and religions and we are all Americans. We are not Africans or Mexicans or Chinese or Jamaican or Israeli or European or Arab or Indian (Hindi) first, we are Americans first.

We aren't exclusive, we are inclusive. That is the difference. That is what multiculturalism should be... but isn't.

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28 Nov, 2001

War Blog Song

Chorus: sung between each verse
To the tune of "Old time religion"

Give me those crazy war bloggers
Give me those crazy war bloggers,
Give me those crazy war bloggers,
They're all doing it for free!

Verses:

Will's friend Tony's out of left field
And his lib'ral views he won't yield
But his poli-fate ain't yet sealed
And that's good enough for me

I will link that busking writer
With his words he's quite a fighter
He can make a day seem brighter
So he's good enough for me!

Lawyer Glenn has fingers flying
Many readers for him spying
To keep up I am not trying
Cause he's way too fast for me

We have got a man a-drinking
But he still keeps on a-thinking
To be sure I'll be a-linking
Cause he's good enough for me

I'll be adding more verses as the muse strikes. If you have some of your own, feel free to send them to me.

Disclaimer: If you are offended by the tune used, you might want to visit this page, which was my true inspiration for using that tune. Don't let it stop you from sending offended e-mails to me; though. I and some friends are responsible for at least one of the verses on that page.

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15 Nov, 2000

Fun With Accents (III)

American accents are fun
I promise you I ain't got none.
I'll tell you directly
That I speak correctly!
But you speak real funny, old son

This little verse was inspired by a gentleman from Looz-ee-anna who commented to me "Ah cain't unnerstan a woo-ard thay-et laydee sayuz." I thought that was pretty funny - she had a standard Australian accent. He had a Louisiana bayou accent so thick you could cut it with a knife. It's all in the point of view!
For those that need a translation, he said: "I can't understand a word that lady says."

The UK's got accents galore.
I think that not one is a bore.
Be they Yorkshire or Brummy,
Even Cockney or Plummy,
I always will beg to hear more!

Not kidding either; every time I hear a new accent, I become the world's best listener. If you're from the UK, and want a crying shoulder, you've got one — as long as you promise not to do your whinging in boring BBC English. I'll even listen to RP accents (with a wince or two)....

The Aussies just make me so dizzy.
From Western Australia to Brissy,
Or from north down to south,
men -- just open your mouth,
And I promise I won't say I'm busy!

As I might have mentioned before, I'm a bit enamoured of the Australian accent. A male with the accent has probably got a date, even if he's otherwise a total rotter. No, I'm not silly enough to fall in love with a man for his accent, but I might buy a beer or two to keep him talking!
P.S. Yes, Brissy does rhyme with dizzy — in Aus (Oz).

Explanations

Limericks

    What I like about limericks is that they have rules:

  1. A limerick must have five lines.
  2. Lines one, two and five must rhyme with each other
  3. Lines three and four must rhyme with each other
  4. Lines one, two and five must have the rhythm: (da) da DUM da da DUM da da
    DUM (da)
  5. Lines three and four have the rhythm: (da) da DUM da da DUM (da)

The beats in parentheses are optional. For example (with strong beats in bold):
Yes, a limerick really should rhyme
If it doesn't, that's truly a crime.
It needs a beat too,
But between me and you,
I sometimes forget to keep time!

In strict format, one should try to keep the number of syllables the same, but it's not really necessary for limericks done just for fun. You'll notice in the above example that the lines are 9, 9, 5, 6, and 8 syllables (respectively), but it still scans. Most people try to do limericks by syllables, but it's the
beat that counts. Usually you should try to use a strong word for the DUM beat if it's a single syllable, or the use syllable that is normally accented if the word has more than one syllable. You can also sometimes get away (or try) with accenting a syllable that would emphasise the word if you were speaking it. So try writing a few, they are lots of fun!

If you want that in technical language, a limerick is an aabba rhyme scheme. Either an anapest (da da DUM) or iamb (da DUM) is acceptable for the beginning of each line, the rest of the feet are anapest. A extra trailing weak beat is optional on each line. Lines one, two, and five have three feet; lines three and four have two feet. No, really, I do not write poetry. I do write Limericks because I like them. (I've got a bit tired of arguing that Limericks are poetry, even if they are a low form!)

Accents

You say toe-may-toe, I say toe-mah-toe; you say a-gehn, I say a-gain. Everyone's got an accent, but very few admit it. I've got several, depending on who I've been talking to lately. English accents tend to throw me into a BBC 'middle of the ocean accent', and US southern will only cause me to drawl a bit and say y'all instead of you guys. I do pick up Scots accents, Australian, and Jamaican if I'm around those. I also pick up Canadian and most non-southern US accents (except for Boston -- grew up with that one, and I'm immune).

The only accent I don't hear as an accent is New Jersey; that is the one I revert to in times of stress, or times of one too many stouts (or whatever). Normally, though, I even notice that one -- by noticing that I'm not hearing an accent.

But Why?

So there you have it -- my little trilogy on accents in Limerick form is an expression of a great fondness for both. Hope you enjoyed them!

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21 Oct, 2000

Fun With Accents (II)

The Colonies

In the US, I've mostly lived in the east, and am most familiar with the accents there. I was born in Kansas City, but moved from Kansas just after I turned 4. I lived in New Jersey until I was fifteen, then I moved to Charlotte, North Carolina. I'm now in Florida. So, I'm mostly picking on the accents I know.

I don't know Canada's accents well enough to do a whole article, so I added a limerick on the one I know best.

Australian accents are amazingly uniform over the country. They really have just three basic accents, the broad "outback" accent (which is overblown nicely in the Crocodile Dundee movies), a standard accent, and the very snooty upper-class English accent. My favourite of all the accents of English speakers is the standard Australian accent, and one of the funniest misunderstandings I know of was in the broad accent. Aus (Oz) may be last on my list, but its accent is music to my ears.

Bostonians mistreat the "R"
That speech can be truly bizarre
They drop it and then
they add it again
Pronouncing Bar-bra as Bah-brar

My mother was born and bred just outside of Boston. She also says "Alabamar" and the classic "Pahk the cah in the Havaahd yahd". Other New England accents are not as heavy as Boston's. (Oh.. and again and then do rhyme in US English!)

In New Jersey don't say Joisey City.
You may think that you're terribly witty,
But in most of the state
It's an accent they hate.
What they'll do to you won't be real pretty.

A true pet peeve. Some people from the Newark/ Jersey City areas do talk that way, as do some from NYC. Most of the state says "Jersey", with the R over-pronounced. The "Joisey" bit was old before I was born!

The southerners' word is y'all
They most often speak at a crawl.
I can write twenty tales
And imbibe thirty ales
While they say just one word in that draaaaaaawl.

To someone brought up in NY area, Southern speech seems terribly slow and drawn out. I used to find it frustrating to talk to southerners, but I've got slower myself over the years.

Charlotte's accent could be a real strain.
I really don't mean to complain.
I said many a time
Pin, pan, pen do not rhyme,
But they rhymed them and drove me insane.

Most of the Charlotteans couldn't hear the difference between pin and pen, even in my accent. A few could hear a difference with pan. In high school, no one ever borrowed a pen or pin, always an ink-pen or a safety pin.

In Florida's quite a cross section
of accents -- we have a selection:
Cubans, Haitians, Chinese,
And diverse retirees.
It's a great place to start a collection

Florida has such a mixture now that it's difficult to find a "Florida accent" anymore. True Florida natives are more and more rare. But it is a wonderful place to hear accents from all over the world.

In Texas they have quite a twang,
And also their own brand of slang.
Though their talk may be sweet,
That darn weather's no treat;
I'd just as soon live in Penang

Penang, for those who are wondering, is in Malaysia. Hot and damp. But fabulous food!

In Vancouver they sound way too high.
Don't ask me, I can't tell you why.
The attitude's mellow,
Like an old hippie fellow
Whose mind is still lost in the sky.

I like the Vancouver accent, but it has always sounded just a bit stoned to me. I suspect they may have picked up too much from Northern California. I'm not overly familiar with most Canadian accents, that one is the only one I know well, eh?

On a tour was an Australian guy;
When asked when he'd come there and why,
He replied -- "Well, I'll say
That I came here today."
What they heard was: "I coim here ta die"

This one comes from a tale a friend told me. The bloke on the tour did say "I came here today" in a very broad Aus accent. Luckily there were some other Aussies with a milder accent to translate for the shocked people who had heard, "I came here to die".

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01 Oct, 2000

Fun with Accents (I)

UK and Ireland

A couple of years ago, we got a satellite dish at my house, with a number of new channels. My housemate was fascinated by BBC America, so I got to listen to it quite often (the computers are the room next to the TV room). I had a lot of fun trying to identify the accents. I usually had no luck whatsoever, but I enjoyed listening to them all.

Since I had been in accent heaven, I thought I'd do a piece or two on accents, but I really can't stay serious for long on the subject. So, since there was a "silly verse" contest going on among some other writers I knew, I was inspired to do a few limericks. Just for fun. I hope you all enjoy these, and if anyone from the UK or Ireland wants to get offended, you should see what I said about my fellow ex-colonials!

The Brits like to shorten a word,
Causing names to become quite absurd.
At "Featherstone-Haugh"
I was really in awe,
As "Fanshaw" was all that I heard.

This British habit can be very puzzling to those of us who don't know what is going on. Wooster? Try finding that on a map without knowing the actual spelling!

The English (don't call one a Limey)
Can speak either posh or 'cor blimey'!
Posh sounds like a plum
Has been stuck in their bum,
While cockneys 'ave slang that is rhymey

The phrase actually is "Plum in the mouth" but I have my own opinion. Besides, I couldn't resist the rhyme. I'm afraid the posh English is one of the few accents I wince at.

"Head north, you illiterate rogue.
Oxford accent's no transient vogue.
Watford north is the source
Of all that is coarse",
Says the south, 'cause they dislike that brogue.

The southern English claim that civilisation ends at Watford, which is about 40 miles north of London. The northern English have a differing opinion! I do also.

US made the Beatles supreme,
And we thought their accent a dream.
But don't use it in Britain.
You can take that as written.
They'll hide under bedclothes and scream!

I was amazed years ago to find that the Liverpool accent was not considered high-class. Most of the US really loved the Beatles' accent. I still like it. So there!

Godiva in Coventry froze;
Caught cold from removing her clothes
And that's why a Brummy
Still talks from her tummy
and vowels get caught in her nose.

I was advised to change my name before visiting Birmingham after I posted this one. Really, I'm just kidding! The accent is just a little tiny bit nasal...

If ever I'm visiting Wales,
I'll simply ignore all the tales.
Understanding that speech
is a goal I can't reach.
I'd rather just buy them all ales.

I find the accents in the south of Wales quite pretty. Only problem is I always have to ask them to repeat what they said. The south Wales accent is really the only one I've heard.

The ones I like most are the Scots;
Their accents just give me the hots;
Though the speech I adore,
There's one thing I abhor.
Their haggis; it gives me the trots!

I like the Scots accents best of the UK accents; they are the only ones I easily 'pick up'. Most Americans pick up more on English accents, I guess I'm just strange. (Quit agreeing so enthusiastically!)
The Irishman's brogue is renowned.
Rolled R's make so charming a sound.
But their excellent stout
Is the thing that I tout --
Come join me; I'll buy the firrrst round!

I do love that Irish accent. As long as they don't break into Gaelic, I have no problem understanding them. It's not one I could ever imitate though; I simply cannot copy that rolled 'r'.

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15 Sep, 2000

Just what did you mean by that?

In a face to face encounter, what you don't say may be more important than what you do say. Estimates vary, but the lowest ones say that over 60% of communication is nonverbal. Proxemics is one part of nonverbal communication; kinesics is the other. Like spoken language, they vary from culture to culture.

Smiles

The only universal gestures are smiles and frowns. Even with those, you aren't always safe. The Thais, for instance, use a smile as an apology. I found it pretty difficult to remember this when a Thai woman tossed some dirty dishwater out her door and caught me (luckily I was wearing a dress and she only got me from the knees down). She then smiled at me!

In the US, you don't smile; you look appalled and apologize profusely. I did remember the Thais use a smile as apology, and in fact do that myself there, but at that moment it was very difficult to overcome my own cultural programming and smile back! I did it though, and even managed a small laugh. The result was that she brought some clean water for me to rinse off with, and a towel to dry
myself.

Her place was on my route to work and from then on, I got a smile and hello whenever she saw me. However, I did check very carefully to make sure she didn't have a washtub in her hands before I walked by.

Eye contact

In Thailand, I acquired the habit of looking down if I was speaking to someone older, or higher in status. Since I tend to be a bit shy in social situations, I picked up the habit very quickly, and I now find the US standard of direct eye contact a bit disconcerting!

In the US, not looking directly at someone when you talk to them is rude. In most of Asia, it is rude to do so, especially if you are of lower 'status' than the person you are speaking to. In fact, even in some parts of the US, looking someone in the eye is interpreted as a challenge.

I read a study a few years ago that indicated that one of the reasons that people brought up in the inner cities have trouble getting hired for jobs is that they don't look an interviewer in the eye. This is interpreted as shifty behavior, dishonesty, and so forth. In reality, it is only a cultural difference. If you
look someone in the eye in the inner cities, you will probably end up in a fight.

Nods and shakes

One evening in Phuket, I ran across one of my computer customers at a local pub. He complained to me that a Thai he had hired to work on his house had agreed to do something, and then failed to do it. I knew the worker in question, and that his English wasn't very good. I asked my acquaintance if he was sure the worker had understood. "Yes," he replied "I even asked if he was sure he could do it, and he nodded."

I spent the next twenty minutes explaining to this gentleman (I had been in Thailand for three months at the time, he had been there for years) that Thais do not nod to signify yes. A Thai nod means "I respect your authority, I respect you" and that sort of thing. It does not mean yes. The Thai had probably not understood what this guy said (and no, they won't ask)!

So, don't assume a nod always means yes, or that a shake always means no! Don't use a nod or a shake and expect to be understood. Both of these differ from culture to culture.

Kinesics Pedantry

Ray L. Birdwhistell began the study of Kinesics. He wrote Introduction to Kinesics
(1952).

From dictionary.com

ki·ne·sics (k-nsks, -zks, k-) n. (used with a sing. verb) The study of nonlinguistic bodily movements, such as gestures and facial expressions, as a systematic mode
of communication
. [From Greek kinsis, movement, from kinein, to move; see kei-2 in Indo-European Roots.]
ki�nesic (-sk, -zk) adj.

Smiling

Even in English, we have terms such as grin, smirk, and leer. We also have happy, sad, rueful, wicked, broad, tight and insincere smiles. Keep that in mind if you ever find yourself in Thailand, the land of smiles. They have all these, and many more!

Eye contact

In many cultures and subcultures, eye contact is interpreted as defiance or challenge. In many others, lack of eye contact is interpreted as dishonest or, at best, shyness or embarrassment.

Nods and shakes

Bulgaria and the US are exact opposites, Bulgarians shake the head for yes, and nod it for no. Many cultures tilt the head up to indicate no, and some tilt the head to the side to indicate yes. In some of the Asian cultures, a nod is simply a gesture or respect, and has nothing to do with yes or no.

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